Chapter 2: The Teenage Years

After Nesk’s extended gap year upon finishing school and his subsequent invention of excretion he decided it was time to focus his blinding intellect on more advanced learnings. For this reason Neskk attended Harvard, MIT and Cambridge and simultaneously completing a combined degree of Law, Engineering and Medicine respectively. During his time at these universities he served as tutor, lecturer and dean of each respective faculty. He influenced each of these faculties greatly by his invention of the book. However there was also a great stain upon his time at university, one that Neskk has tried to put behind him for the last twenty-seven thousand years. One wintry morning, after an especially bad Pakistani dinner, Neskk found himself in a dangerous predicament where he had run out of toilet paper in the public toilet. Luckily Neskk kept a tree in his pocket and was able to fashion a crude book which he used to wipe his own sphincter. This book which he deposited in the bin was later found by a complete loser (who was also a homosexual, unemployed, mentally retarded, ugly and gay) who worshiped the shit covered book like a God. He gathered other students to his call and thus the Arts Faculty was born. Neskk has never lived down the day. His post-graduate studies in Gypsy Magicks were however cut short when he joined the fight against the communist menace in North Korea and Jupiter.

Neskk served with much distinction earning the nickname “Korean Lightning” after he courageously destroyed seven Chinese M921 tanks using only his watch and a hand glass. It was here that Neskk’s love of medicine bloomed and he managed to find a cure to Asian Pox, which claimed over 1800 lives in the Korean conflict prior to his discovery. He managed to defeat the whole North Korean offensive with one decisive blow from his bulging bicep. Also during this time Neskk met his first wife Byung-soon Park. It was a warm summer morning and Neskk was patrolling Siberia when he stumbled into a communist booby-trap while attempting to juggle 19 live grenades. The trap was sprung and Neskk spent the next 6 days pinned to the floor surviving only on his hatred for Communism.

On the 7th day of the ordeal, when Neskk thought he could only take another two or three years without food and water a young Korean girl stumbled across the lone soldier and freed him (many have of course theorised as to why Neskk didn’t just free himself but as they say, Neskk only knows). The courtship of Byung-soon lasted 5 years and has become known as the ‘2nd Renaissance’ however she died during their honeymoon, where he traveled with her to Alderaan, not realising that she was unable to survive a direct hit from the Death Star. From that day on Neskk took a vow of celibacy and forever dedicated his life to the improvement of the human race.